Will-ful Behavior

I was talking with a homo friend of mine about how I had given up on ever finding a decent guy for myself, but that I was all right with that, because what I want more than a relationship is a kid, and how extremely unlikely it would be to find someone else who wanted that anyway (Yeah, it was a real fun conversation). So after I had finished pitching my tale of woe (which I think is more for my benefit, so that I will feel okay with ending up alone), he says to me “I am thinking about that episode of Will & Grace where Will and Grace are at the therapist’s office discussing having a kid.” (For your reading pleasure, here is the excerpt of the episode in question:

GRACE: Ok, well, what about Rick? Where is Rick? Is he in the TV room where you spend every Saturday night? Does he appear on the gay channel that you added and don't think I know about? I mean, you sat here, and you listed my--my failures! At least I have failures to list! At least I tried! You haven't had a serious relationship in five years!

WILL: No, I haven't!

GRACE: Well, then maybe you need to ask yourself why you want this baby. Is it because you are so full of love? And there's no one in your life? And so now you wanna make a little guy or girl to give it to?

WILL: So what? Isn't that a perfectly good reason to have a baby? I mean, isn't it? [TO THE THERAPIST] Isn't it? [TO HIMSELF] It isn't, is it?)

Yeah. No one has asked me that question before. But it had been tripping quietly through the back of mind, along with the rest of my neuroses and insecurities. Yes, I am full of love (or at least the parts of me that aren’t filled with bitterness, spite, hate, and fat: I’m the emotional equivalent of gumbo.) but that is not the whole reason I want a kid. I mean, homos get pets when they want someone to give extra love to. I love kids, I like working with them, and I want to give one a chance in life that they wouldn’t otherwise have. I know this is going to be really tough, and that it is going to cost me something, not just in monetary terms, but emotionally: I am going to have to give up my dream of earning my doctoral degree. I might not even be “allowed” to adopt for one reason or another. But I know I have to try. Okay, enough personal revelatory for tonight: I have a cake to frost.

P.S. You can find lots of media clips and entire Will & Grace transcripts at Rob’s Will & Grace Web Page. Enjoy with love!